Friday, February 16, 2007

Greatest celeb encounter EVER / My biggest life choke EVER

I went to see Lily Allen Monday, Feb. 5 at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood. First let me say that she was awesome, even when singing her song about men with small penises. It was funny and she was incredibly charming while performing for her mostly just-out-of-college female audience.

This show was sold out and I staked out my usual position about 20 feet from the front edge of the stage and near the wall on the left (when facing the stage). I like to position myself here, b/c I'm still close enough to be close without having to subject myself to the frontrows flesh press. And usually setting up near the wall means a little less people density. Well, not with a sold out show apparently. Even though it's a pretty dense amoeba of people, in front of me and the others in our makeshift "row." Small groups continue to wedge between myself and the small group to my left and then disappear into the mob.

As the available space shrinks the brazen rudeness of the line-busters increases. Eventually they're no longer offering even the cursory "excuse mes" and they're just busting through with sharp elbows. After the third person clips me, I look to my left and notice a beautiful, short (keep in mind I'm 5-4), fiery redhead dressed in a funky, indie chic outfit. I'm dead certain it's Rilo Kiley singer and songwriter Jenny Lewis. What the fuck is my wife doing here, right? Oh wait, I only want to marry her, but have never like met her or anything.

"Are you Jenny Lewis" or "You're Jenny Lewis, right?" both flash through my head. I don't even consider losering out and dropping those witty lines. I am honestly getting sick to my stomach a little though. What do I say??!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!

Well, then I notice that she's standing with a bunch of people who appear very young, like still in college. And she's my age, so now I'm wondering what she's doing there with them and start convincing myself that it's not her.

OUCH. I've just been elbowed again and in my surprise I instinctively look to my left. This time my eyes lock with Jenny(?) and we share a mutual eye roll at the rudeness. I shift my weight about 56 times in the next three minutes debating whether to approach and how to if I decide to throw my insecurities and doubts to the wind. (By the way, I was farted on about 4 times at this show. one made me want to puke. This has become a very negative pattern recently. Happened at M. Ward enough to make me almost give up my amazing standing position behind the soundboard at the El Rey).

Lily's music has honestly been the furthest thing from my mind during this near-encounter with Jenny. After getting back into the show, so as to dull the I'm sure stalker vibe I'm giving off, I look left again and notice that she and her friends are making neck craning gestures toward the back of the hall indicating that they're gonna bail out on this scene. They leave before I have a chance to say anything. :( and I still don't know if it was her.

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