This was a five-day trip; I'd be in Portland from the morning of Sunday the 13th through the evening of Thursday the 17th. I told my friend Bill, from college, that I had one goal. To relax and recharge the batteries before we entered the intense deadline push at L.A. Youth. He was totally amenable to that goal. So we planned out a rough itinerary of catching a baseball game Monday night, dinner with his parents on some night, meeting up with another college friend another night, driving out to Astoria (Goonies and Kindergarten Cop) and a short hike up to the top of a waterfall. Something more or less for each day, but nothing that would require any one too-packed day.
After I got in Sunday late morning I was hungry. So it was time for lunch at Kells Irish Pub in downtown. http://www.kellsirish.com
Make sure you try the Ulster Champ, a traditional mashed potatoes with butter & scallions. These are the BEST mashed potatoes I've ever had. No hyperbole. Btw, this trip has started very un-California, with me eating heavy food for lunch and drinking multiple pints of Guinness for lunch. NICE.
Next was the imprecisley named Portland Saturday Market, which is open Sundays. A very cool, street fair/open air shopping bazaar of local artisans and merchants. http://www.portlandsaturdaymark
Before we left downtown we checked out Powell's Books, the largest independent bookstore in the United States. THIS IS A MUST STOP. http://www.powells.com/ They ship everywhere! I bought an old edition of All The President's Men for $2.95 (no sales tax) and also Working by Studs Terkel for $2.95.
The rest of the day I chilled at Bill's and he gave me a quick tour of Lake Oswego, Oregon. A Portland suburb that is very toney. And home of probably the two nicest high schools I have ever seen. http://lhs.loswego.k12.or.us
Saturday night Bill's parents took us out to McCormick and Schmick's. Yeah, it's become a chain but this was the original location in downtown. Excellent seafood. http://www.mccormickandschmicks
And I promise that things will move much more quickly now.
Monday: We began watching old game shows on GSN. Newlywed game back then was horrid. People were fugly.
AMAZING lunch at Widmer Brewery. http://www.widmer.com/brewery
Then we toured the old U.S. Naval submarine Blueback. It was pretty cool, but why must museums gear everything toward children?? I understand the reason behind and even applaud trying to make things appealing to kids, but come on ... do I need to pretend I'm the Captain of a submarine while the tour guide presses a diving sound effect button? Ironically, had there not been a tour guide, I would have pretended I was the captain. http://www.omsi.edu/visit
Monday night caught the Portland Beavers game against the Tacoma Rainiers. Even if you're not a sports fan, see PGE Stadium, it's quite fab for a AAA facility. Very clean, great sight lines, cheap tickets. We almost got a foul ball (we were closest) but it moved so fast that no dice. Best part about the baseball stadium, it's right on a MAX (public trans train) line. http://www.trimet.org/max
After the game we went to my second favorite bar in the world. the Kennedy School, which is owned by McMenamin's brewers. This is an old elementary school. The cafeteria has been converted into the main restaurant and kitchen. I cannot begin to describe the coolness factor in this place. From mis-matched antique ceiling lamps to dark wood interior to great beer to kick ass food, this is the best place you could imagine. http://www.mcmenamins.com
Tuesday: We watched more shitty gameshows in the morning on Game Show Network. While watching the Newlywed Game I had the big epiphany about Cali's influence on me. The contestants were fucking ugly. I am sorry. But like beyond homely, beyond geeky, beyond wanting to even look at them. So ugly you almost wouldn't dare make fun of them because it's too easy and so sad. Granted, I'm no looker by any stretch, but this was hideous. I mean it forced me to re-evaluate the what I consider the most important advances of the last 30 years. I now say that the emphasis on looks for being allowed to get on TV is überimportant. I mean we've got severe buckteeth, combovers, yellow teeth, pastiness. COME ON. If anyone decides to hate me for my Los Angeles shallowness, I'll totally understand. I am a bad human. As I once said at work, I could be in a room with a satanist and I still wouldn't be the better Christian.
[aside: Throughout my life I've rarely noticed the changes in myself, save for a few occassions, despite when others have claimed that I was different—coming back from my first semester of college probably being the most prominent. Teachers, relatives, friends even my parents said that I seemed "different." I passionately refuted those claims, but I think they were probably correct. At least they would prove to be correct by the end of those four years. And that makes sense, if I had been the same at 21 as I was at 17, I would have wanted to eat my arms.
Well, since moving to California now more than four years (!!!!!) ago, I can readily admit that I've changed. It's pretty amazing how having a job you love, not having to shovel snow and not living in a shoebox makes you. I laugh more easily, don't drink my tension and sorrows away, exercise more and am much more Type B pesonality-wise. In fact my friends who've known me only in California say that they cannot imagine me as a tense asshole-type. And I've also felt like I've adopted the best of California: KCRW/NPR, a like for veggie burgers and tofu and more exercising and I've been proud that I never acquired certain "California" habits, like Valley Girl speak, or dressing up to go to the mall. But I have become a looks-snob. OUCH. It's ironic that a 30 year old guy with a severly thinning scalp who is 5-4 would become a looks snob.]
Lunch was Arby's. I mention this only because they had this bell you could ring as you left if you got good service. I felt like we did so I rang it and everyone yelled out "thank you!" AWESOME. Why doesn't everyone do this? seriously? Though i didn't need it, a Whammy like buzzer for bad service should have been there also.
The main activity for the day was to check out and hike Multnomah Falls. This is also a must-do to me. http://trips.stateoforegon.com
That night we had dinner with my friend Robb, his wife, his two brothers and his mom, and his baby daughter. Very chill barbecue, but way cool. Hadn't yet met Carly nor seen his fam in years, so this was good. Just a very chill, beer-filled night.
Wednesday: More newlywed game. More ugly people. I don't know how we got out of the 70s as a human population, b/c I wouldn't want to mate with anyone.
Met Robb for breakfast at Fuller's in the Pearl district. http://www.roadfood.com
We spent this day driving out to the Oregon Coast. MUST: Hit the Columbia River Maritime Museum in Astoria, which was way cool. [http://www.crmm.org/] Avoid the gift shop. Most annoying song ever about lying. But my main reason for hitting Astoria was movie locations (OK, another example of my Californiaizing.) We saw the elementary school from Kindergarten Cop and Astoria is where Goonies was fimed. Super awesome. We also climed the astor tower. It's not that tall, but it has a great view, if there was ever a clear day in the Northwest.
Also checked out Ft. Clatsop the second replica, so third generation location of where Lewis and Griswald, er Clark, wintered at the end of the Oregon trail. This was kind of a ripoff. They're not finished building the latest version, but they don't tell you that until you've already committed to paying. It's very small and was overrun by this overzealous camp leader type who carried a compass and GPS inside to confirm his location. WTF? The Battery Russell though was way cool. It's the site of the first attack on the Continental U.S. since the War of 1812. The japanese fired us on during world war 2. it was june of 42. I hadn't known that. Saddest thing though was how run down the site was. Barely any interpretive plaques. It looks now more like a place where high school students would go at night to make out and scare each other, and judging by the tagging it is.
Aside: on the way to Astoria and throughout the area we saw about a billion fotomat-sized to-go espresso places. I don't even know what to make of that. Also, we saw the world's tallest sitke spruce. Must for being UNDERWHELMED. The other TRUE MUST of the day was Cannon Beach and Haystack Rock. http://www.cannonbeach.org
That night had dinner at the Rogue Public House. These are the cats responsible for Rogue Dead Guy Ale. http://www.rogue.com/locations
Thursday: last day and this e-mail is almost over. Just go to Pal's Shanty and get the dungeness crab and cheese sandwich. You won't eat a better menu item in a local dive bar anywhere. period. http://www.barflymag.com/bar
OK, that should cover it.
Last thing: San Jose is the WORST aiport I've ever been in. I had to transfer terminals via bus at this tiny airport to catch my connector. And transferring terminals meant leaving security-cleared area going outside and then having to enter another screening area! That was awesome, except for the part that it totally wasn't.
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