Ever since Alanis Morissette cracked the Top 10 with her totally-fucking-incorrectly titled "Ironic" the English language has suffered and our collective intelligence has plummeted. 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife isn't "ironic," it just fucking sucks to be you.
Anyway, over the years I've become the irony police among my friends. I've been called twice at beyond socially acceptable hours from parties to resolve disputes over the definitions of irony. It seems like sports announcers tend to be the worst abusers ironically substituting "ironically" for "coincidentally." I said "ironically" in that case, because they're trying to sound smarter but instead look stupider. Or they would if the rest of the fucking country knew the fuck better. But they don't.
From here on this blog will track all misuses that I come across. Some setup: Wide receiver Ashley Lelie was traded from the Broncos to the Falcons Tuesday. Here's a slice of espn.com's John Clayton's story:
The former University of Hawaii star, who ironically played for former Falcons head coach June Jones in college, led the NFL in yards per catch in 2004 (20.1) and 2005 (18.3).
There's nothing ironic about playing for a former Falcons' coach. It's a simple coincidence, assface.
Never cross paths with my sword of irony.
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